So, on a positive note, i got a job.
I work for a homecare company that helps with either elderly people or disabled people in their homes. It pays 10/h so its not horrible.
But i am fighting a constant battle. I struggle with severe depression, and just rolling myself out of bed is a difficult task in itself. Even though i am moving forward, i just seem to keep sinking lower and lower into a pit of despair, even worse than when i didnt have a job. I feel like i am on the edge of a cliff, and whilst i have no intention of jumping, the rocks below me are crumbling slowly, and i see it coming, but i cant move.
All i really want, is to be free. I wish i could just run away, and live in the woods ( i know, it sounds crazy)
Think about it, are we really free? living month to month, working for a place to stay (house, apartment) to only be in it a few hours a day? Working for a vehicle, to mainly get you to the place you work, just to pay for that house you hardly ever see? To me, it just seems so POINTLESS.
I cant be the only one to feel this way, but thats the thing. It doesnt matter how we feel, because it will NEVER change. Our thoughts? they mean NOTHING.